Denzel's mad at me.
Except last night, I had a dream that I was in some fancy schmancy restaurant, and I noticed that Denzel Washington and his wife were dining there as well.
Everything was quite normal at first, until the restaurant turned into a huge party, and I felt myself getting lost in the crowd. I was trying to find my way out of the restaurant, when I snaked through a group of people, and caught the eye of Mrs. Denzel. I smiled at her, reached out and squeezed her arm in passing and said, "Love ya!". (Which cracks me up. Love ya?)
She said thank you, and just as the "you" was still hanging in the air, Denzel whipped around and said, "WAIT A SECOND. You love MY WIFE? What about ME?"
At first I thought he was joking, so I laughed and mumbled something about how he's obviously great, just trying to get out of the restaurant, didn't want to cause a fuss."
He grabbed my arm and yelled, "I AM DENZEL ARTHUR WASHINGTON!" (note: I don't think his middle name is Arthur, nice of me to make one up for him).
"Yes, I know."
"Well, next time show me some PROPER RESPECT."
"And don't be kissing up to my wife!"
"Oh, and GO GET MY CAR" and then he handed me his valet ticket!
And then I woke up. Because I was not about to go get Denzel's car.
"Oh you'll GET my car, woman. What the hell am I, anyway? Chopped liver?"
You can find my last celebrity dream here.