Friday, October 22, 2004

Laziness is the new clean.

I've had a lot of coffee this morning, so I'm going to just talk for a while. Some people like to hear themselves talk? I like the clickety-clackety sound of typing on my laptop. Did I mention I've had a lot of coffee?

First off, guess what. I created a page just for Daily Brady Pics. Simply click on the link underneath today's picture in the sidebar and be transported to Daily Brady Pics of yesteryear. Or yesterDAY, because I can't go that far back to remember what I had already done. Some of them won't make sense unless you've read a particular entry, because I do try to correlate them sometimes.

Second of all, I'm very angry at the whole television world. I can be addicted to The Apprentice. And The Daily Show. And "24" when it's lazy ass shows up again. But I simply cannot add another show. That would be ridiculous. Except that someone in my house other than me has been recording and forcing me to watch "Lost". And it's a damn good show. DAMN good. I kept rubbing my eyes and checking the corner of the screen to make sure it still read ABC. That's shocking, I think. I'm really loving the back stories of the stranded passengers, the emotions, the hotness that once was Charlie from Party of Five. He was hot then, and he has not let us down since. Man. And when he cries? I'm bawling right there with him. He has that damn Tom Hanks thing where I HAVE to cry the second he even SLIGHTLY contorts his face into cry mode. What is that? It's powerful, my friend.

Thirdly, I have a very big dilemma. It involves my cleaning lady. She has been cleaning my house for six and a half years. And she sucks.

She started out as the most perfect cleaning lady the world ever did see. I guess as she became familiar with the house, she became a little...lax. Which is understandable. But then she became just a little too lax, to the point where I'd end up just cleaning after her. Example? Dusting. She would just take a dry cloth and run it over surface areas, never picking up items let alone dusting the items on the surface. I'd mention it to her, she'd do it the right way the next couple of times, and then it was back to sub-par. This is just ONE example. Sometimes I'd just clean after her and grumble about it to myself. Which is ridiculous in my mind, since I just handed her a damn check.

She also gets paid rather well, and if you worked out the flat fee I pay her based on the amount of time she's actually here cleaning my house, you'd be over in two seconds for the job yourself. It's embarrassing, actually.

As I mentioned, we've had talks about it, it doesn't go anywhere. She's in and out, and while I do appreciate that she saves me time on some things (vacuuming seems to be her specialty), I get very irritated with the fact that I purposely hired someone to clean my home so that I can focus on my work and other things, but in all reality I'm paying her to start cleaning my house, and I come behind her and do it the right way.

The other problem is the friendship issue. We are far from being bosom buddies, yet there has been a very strong foundation of trust laid down. She knows my habits, she's seen my privates (not those privates), etc. It's comfortable. I can not be home when she's here cleaning and never have to worry about a thing.

She and I are relatively chatty with one another, which is normal when you see each other once a week. She's a little more open with me than I am with her (one day upon entering my house she announced - quite proudly I must add -, "Well, my son got laid for the first time last night!", but we've shared a lot of personal information over six and a half years.

My dog? LOVES HER. And my dog don't love nobody. I'm not even sure he loves me. So another bonus is that the house can be vacated for days at a time and she will come take care of him and I never have to worry about her being maimed or dead. That's kind of nice.

I mulled this problem over with a business associate of mine, and she came up with this idea: make a specific checklist of all of the things I'd like for her to do. And then, let her know that I am only paying her an hourly rate as opposed to a flat fee, so she's only getting paid for the time she's actually spending cleaning. So, in essence, she needs to do the things on the list if she wants to get paid well.

Here's where I turn chicken shit. I feel like she's going to think I've turned into some sort of anal neat freak all of a sudden. Or that I'm suddenly on a power trip. Why I worry about these things, I don't know. It's not personal, it's business. Yet, I still worry that I'm going to upset her. Or have her go, "Okay Princess" and then slash my new leather living room furniture with a butcher knife. Or, tell the dog he has every right to hate me because I'm a horrible mother.

And even MORE chicken shit-ish, is that I had my chance to tell her this THIS morning, and I didn't do it. Even though I had a two page checklist all typed up and sitting on my desk. It's hard to say, "we need to have a talk about your shortcomings" when she charges in bubbly as can be because she just returned from the vacation of a lifetime.

I know that if she truly IS my friend, and if she really DOES care about this job, she would be open to my candor. I know this. I just don't want to have to do it.

And people wonder why I no longer have assistants in my business anymore.

I'm sure this sounds like a stupid dilemma, and I'm sure that it is, but it's one of the many things on a very long list of frustrations that I'm currently dealing with.