Tuesday, November 16, 2004


The cool thing with having a strained/squeaky voice is that people feel sorry for you. I'm feeling much better, but I still sound sick.

This worked to my advantage this morning in a meeting, in which I was not really in the mood to talk for a long time in front of a large group. I started, but then my voice started to give out. So instead I got a lot of sympathetic looks and "oh poor baby"s. Weee. Of course now I have to write the longest e-mail known to man to try to explain what I was going to be talking about, but at least I don't have thirty-two faces staring at me while I do it.

It also enables me to only have to leave short and sweet voicemails. Which is what people should be doing anyway. I don't know what it is about talking into a voicemail (which feels like a huge blank void), but people tend to go on and on and on and on. Not me, man. I'm all, "This is Me, here's my number, call me back."

Or we could all be like my Mom, who likes to leave very dramatic sounding messages. "Please call me back, I really need to talk to you!" Or her other personal favorite, "I need to tell you something". Really? That's a new one. I guess she thinks I'm not going to call her back, even though I always ALWAYS do. It's like a bribe, I think. "If you don't call me, I won't tell you something."

That probably made no sense, and you probably have to know my Mom to know how annoying that is.

I may have mentioned this before, but my Mom is also really awful on AIM. She doesn't understand that it's basically a conversation...she will write PARAGRAPHS. And ask like nine questions in each one. She doesn't understand, no matter how many times I've told her, that you can ask ONE question at a time. She treats it like e-mail. Also, when she's about to sign off? She SIGNS her instant message. "It's been nice talking to you, Honey. - Mom." That actually cracks my shit up. Like, who have I been talking to all this time? Oh, right, MOM.

When I first set her up with AIM, I forgot to turn the sounds off. So, like two months later I'm walking by her home office and I hear the little "door slam" when I'm passing. I said, "Oh you're on-line." She said, "Yeah, I don't know what that noise is though. And sometimes? There's this really haunting sound - kind of a creak, it's very scary." Haaa, that's when people (her buddies) sign on to AIM. Oh man, I was cracking up thinking she was scared shitless for two months. I love her.

Oodles and oodles of work to be done today. December is my busiest month all year, for obvious reasons, so I've got my work cut out for me.

-New Jan Brady