Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Look out below!

Last night I was lounging in my leather recliner, watching the season finale of Hells Kitchen (for I have a mild crush on Chef Gordon Ramsey and his forehead wrinkles - and I melt just a little inside when he calls someone a donkey), when I looked down at my exposed legs and feet and about gasped in horror.

On my left foot, is a nice new scar near the bone that juts out on the side and below my big toe (what the hell is that called?), which I got from dragging a bookcase 10 hundred times my size across my office a few weeks ago.

Right above my left foot and at the ankle/shin (?) (I'll never be a doctor), is a fresh scrape from when I tripped over a paint can YESTERDAY, right in front of the person who will be painting my living room (and of course when I tripped, I fell forward at an amazing awkward speed and sprawled over my coffee table (classy) and then had to pop up and act like it didn't hurt even though I could already see the scrape. I'm pretty sure the painter now realizes why I'm having HIM paint, instead of doing it myself).

On my right foot, in nearly the same place as the injury on my left foot, is a scrape I got in a clothing store, (which was eerily predicted by a handwriting analysis person the day before) (this is my life, scared yet?), by running into a rack.

On the right side of my calf (I'm pretty sure this body part in which I speak is my calf! YES! I'm ready for Jeopardy now!), is a long scrape from when I didn't bother to move over a tiny inch when bringing down the door of my dishwasher.

So, I'm looking down at my scrapes and I'm wondering, am I six years old again? HOW does one accumulate so many scrapes in such a short time frame?

The only thing I can figure is that I'm always rushing around, doing this and that, hurry hurry hurry bitch, when I don't take the time to LOOK DOWN now and then. It's not hard, I imagine. Yet I just don't do it.

Lesson learned! No point to this post! I am now off to look up feet and legs and identify their parts. Six years old again!