Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Why not just write: "Thanks for a lovely time!"?

This weekend I got 3-days of R&R, much needed I might add. It was quite delightful. I was also super proud of myself for planning a get-away in a location in which I could witness the beginning of the season change. Fall is by far my favorite season, and it usually goes by in a blink and I never really get to experienceit. So, Fall 2006 experienced! Or, if we're going to be all technical, Something Resembling Fall 2006 experienced! Now with more mini pumpkins!

One of my absolute favorite things about where I stayed,(aside from the black widow in my room! Just in time for Halloween?), was that there was a journal for guests to write about their experience in the suite. Because I'm nosey, I quickly swooped it up to read from while soaking in my giant jacuzzi tub the first night.

The book started with New Year's 2001, and it started out sorta boring with the standard "what a lovely suite!" written in several variations for the first few pages.

And then it turned into something of a novel competition. People from all over the world were suddenly Jack Kerouac, roaming the lands and telling their stories.

I went from laughing, to squirming.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

"Marriages have seasons. We were in a hurricane season. The healing force of this suite has healed us." - That needs to go straight to their marketing brochure, I suggest.

(The suite had a stereo system that only played CDs): "The radio doesn't work, but thank God we had Rod Stewart."

"After a day of wine tasting, we enjoyed feeding the stray cat in the parking lot."

"My weary travels have brought me here to your wonderful establishment, in which I spent the weekend in a blissful stupor. The roads are long and traveled, and I consider myself enchanted."

But THIS ONE took the cake...

"I drew a bath for my Love, but she said it was 'too hot', so we went across the street for dinner. When we came back, we checked the tub and it was perfect. I opened the champagne, and as I opened it, the words that I could no longer keep inside came pouring out and I told her everything I needed to. Risking my heart, for the sake of her love for eternity. I was glad I did it. I felt so (crossed out 'magical') alive."

And then there are maybe four or five lines CROSSED OUT (which looks like the suite OWNERS edited out! HA!), but from what I could make out of it...a certain LOVE showed her APPRECIATION in....THE TUB...(that's when I pulled the drain of the tub and jumped the hell out of there), and then something about needing a nap, doing it AGAIN (again with the word appreciation), and then BACK IN THE TUB. Thank you for sharing!

I wanted to take the book home with me. I also wanted to join in the competition and make some sort of spoof entry, but the suite owners are friends of mine, and I didn't want to scare the shit out of them. For my crazy entry would have involved eating fire and wrestling with a black widow. And SOMEBODY (anybody!) showing appreciation!