Huey and Charlie

In 1985 I saw Huey Lewis in concert. And the News. He was big then, baby. So big, that I remember my middle school having a HL&N cover band come in to entertain us at lunch one Friday, and everyone I knew was so excited they could hardly stand it. Even though it WASN'T Huey Lewis, or his News. It was just a bunch of guys SINGING their songs. And horribly, at that. In fact, they weren't even allowed to say DRUG...oh no, they had to change their lyrics to "I want a new TRUCK". One that won't make me sick. One that won't make me crash my car and feel three feet thick. I want a new truck!

Anyway, I remember being very excited to see him in concert. I believe it was my second concert ever. The first being New Edition. Oh, Bobby. I can't believe I'm writing this. So, I was excited, but I wasn't jumping up and down lunatic excited. Just admiring the fact that Huey Lewis was RIGHT THERE in front of me. And I know every song! Weee. But this guy behind me? He was like 8 feet tall? He was trying to talk to my girlfriend and I while we were watching, and we weren't having any of it because guy, HUEY LEWIS IS RIGHT THERE. At one point, as the crowd was growing quiet between songs, I guess I made a loud "whoop" noise. The guy behind me suddenly yells, "SHE LOVES YOU HUEY!!!!!!!", and I turn around and he's pointing down to me. Which then made EVERYONE around us turn around as well. I remember being completely humilated. LOVE him? That's a bit strong. So I just gave the on-lookers a little thumbs-up sign and then grabbed my girlfriend's arm and made her move somewhere else with me. DO NOT humilate me, Giant!

Last night I had a dream in which I was supposed to be meeting Prince Charles (why?), and I was upset because the jeans I was wearing were way too long. REALLY long. And I was standing in some sort of receiving line, looking down at my pant legs and wondering what the hell I was going to do. Maybe Prince Charles wouldn't look down. Should I roll them up? If I did, they'd be these huge cuffs, and I couldn't have that. So instead, I paced back in forth with these long jean bottoms covering my feet and folding forward as if extensions of my legs.

I mumbled to myself, "What the fuck?"

Then I heard a voice behind me say, "I'll take care of them."

I turn around and it's Huey Lewis and he has a huge pair of scissors that were neon yellow and had a bumble bee pattern on them.

"I'm okay", I stammer.

"No way, just a few snips and you're fine." He then bends down, picks up my leg fro m under my knee and starts cutting away.

"Hurry, I'm up next!" I yell just as I see Prince Charles coming up to me.

"You'll be fine!" shouted Huey and I could hear the crunch of the jeans under the scissors.

Someone handed me a can of Coke. Another person started fanning me with this huge Japanese fan. Prince Charles was now in front me and saying, "Oh darling..."

"THERE!" Huey exclaimed, and then jumped up next to me. I looked down. One leg was cut perfectly, the other was cut up to my knee.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked.

And that's when Prince Charles linked an arm through mine and we stood posing for pictures, with Huey trying to cram into the shot by shoving his head into my shoulder from behind.

THE END.



Huey. He was just trying to help.

Other celebrity dreams can be found here, here, and my personal favorite - here.