'scuse me. CLICK.

I just ordered nachos from a fabulous hole in the wall place that I love. Trouble is, I BURPED on the phone right after I said "light on the sour cream".

"Light on the sour cream..." BUUUUUUUURP. "YOU GOT THAT?"

Good Lord. Thank you, Corona with lime!

That reminds me of a time when I was a tender 17 or so and I was working as a receptionist at a beauty salon. I reported to work with the largest largey Dr. Pepper that your mama ever did see, and as I was sucking it down as if it were the nectar of life, the owner asked me to call some hairdresser to tell her she was hired.

Easy!

I dialed the number, she answered.

"Suzie?"

"Yes?"

BUUUUUUURP.

And then I died. As well as everyone in the salon.

Two or three months later? I was ringing up some shampoo for a lady and she starts giggling while she's writing her check.

Me all happy, because PLEASE SHARE the laughs: "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, but I was in here a few months ago...(LAUGH)...and you were on the phone with someone and (LAUGH) BURPED like I've never heard before...."

Man. Now I have to have someone else call in all future nacho orders.