It's not a willie?

Me: This woman in front of me is killing me. She has no idea what she's doing. She's going like forty on the freeway.

Him: Idiot.

(Passing her)

Him: Flip her off! FLIP HER OFF!

Me: What? Flip her off? No.

Him: Why not?

Me: #1, I could get killed. You don't flip off around here. #2, what the hell is the big deal with showing someone your middle finger? "oooo, look I can make my finger look like a penis and balls! I'm TOUGH."

(Awkward silence)

Me: What?

Him: Make your finger look like a penis and balls?

Me: Isn't that the whole "f-you" message by giving the finger? Middle finger up, fingers on sides down? Looks like a...?

Him: (trying not to laugh) Um, no....you see there was this war, between the English and the French...and the French used to cut off the middle fingers of the English so they couldn't draw a bow...and the English used to show off to the French that their fingers weren't cut off in battle.

Me: You are so making that up. (Flipping bird) DICK! BALLS!

Him: It's true! Also, those are some weird looking balls.