Monday, May 10, 2004

Jan don't get out much.

Good God, I've been busy.

Yesterday I decided to take a completely 'work free' day, and we decided to go somewhere that we thought would be different, fun, and completely quiet since it was Mother's Day. So, we picked a casino. Classy.

Apparently, everyone in Northern California thought Mother's Day was the perfect time to go to a casino. I mean, EVERYONE.

We parked in section FF, and I suggested that it stood for Fucking Far-Away. Because we were.

The thing with there being so many people there though was that it was a field day for people watching, which I love to do. And I'm telling you, there was EVERY type of walk of life there.

We were starving when we got there, so we thought we'd hit the buffet. Two hour wait. So, we got tickets for two hours ahead and went and sat at the bar and had $2 drafts and stared at people. Or, tried to stare at people, because the people at the bar? They wanted to be your friend. And immediately.

One older lady sitting next to me? God, she broke my heart. She was all dressed up in a fancy pale green suit, a matching pale green hat with a huge feather in it, and a large coursage...that she bought for herself because her kids don't talk to her anymore. So I got to hear her whole life story and when we finally got up to leave she said, "Don't ignore your Mama". Which didn't make me feel like shit that I was in a casino instead of with my Mom or anything.

I decided to play the slots, and while I was walking around choosing one (how can you tell them apart anyway?), I could see that there were some die hard CAREER slot players. I learned a lot more about this when I actually sat down to play one.

First of all, you can't look like Miss Happy Go Lucky What Does This Button Do?, because you'll get the stink eye from the die hards. And don't look at the next person's slot either. And don't exclaim "Look at you!" when they win 324 credits, because by the look of response on their face will tell you that 324 credits ain't shit, so get back to your own damn game, missy.

I put $5 into a nickle slot called "Money to Burn" and was all la-la-la bored, when somehow I reached some crazy level where you get to play a different game and rack up crazy amounts of points. Or credits? I don't know.

Well, I was hooked. And when it was time to go check in at the buffet, I cashed out at $60. And I was pissy that I had to stop. Visions of my life going down the toilet while I played "Money to Burn" 24/7 in a pale green suit with matching hat flashed before my eyes.

The buffet? Still an hour behind schedule. We enjoyed watching people make complete asses out of themselves while they complained. More $2 drafts, and more people watching. And once, I thought I saw Ruben Studdard. That's when we decided to play the game where you pick out people and say which celebrity they resemble...which can be funnier than shit when you pick people that you imagine a celebrity would look like if they picked up a gambling problem.

Good lord the buffet was well worth the wait. So much good food, and my favorite part...unlimited champagne. And DELICIOUS champagne, which surprised me as well.

I was quite full, a little buzzed, and happy as a clam when we left the buffet. I was dared to exclaim, "I'm SO FULL!" or "That was SO GOOD!" to the passerbys who were getting grouchier and grouchier by the minute as the hours ticked by before they'd get to partake of the buffet. You know I did both.

All in all it was a good time, and completely recharged my battery.

And hey, Blogger has a snazzy new look, so one day when I'm not working 16 hours straight I'll be changing my template. Won't THAT be exciting.