Goings-ons

My office windows are open right now and I can hear two dogs having a very intense argument. One sounds to be a large, male dog and the other one of those itty bitty girl dogs. They are cracking me up because they are both really stubborn on who gets the last word in.

GROOWWAARRRRR
YIP YIP
GROOWWAARRRRR
YIP YIP YIIIIIP
GROOWWAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR (spaz that lasts three full minutes)
YIP YIP YIP YIP!!!
GROOWWAARRRRR!
YIP YIP (I swear I heard a God dammit at the end of that one)
GROWAR!
YIP!
GROWAR!
YIP!
GR-YIP!
(silence)
YIP!

There's some construction going on in my area, and every day around 11:30 a.m. a catering truck drives through the neighborhood blaring a musical horn that sounds like "La Cucaracha". Instantly, I crave a taco.

I have a client who has a completely normal speaking voice, yet at the end of our phone conversations she gets all deep throaty sounding. Sex kitten like. It's SO ODD. Especially if you were to see her in person.

Her, all normal: "Thanks, I'm really looking forward to working with you on this."

Me: "Likewise! We'll be in touch."

Her, all low like she is completing her fifth 900-number call of the day: Mmmm, yeah...(heavy breathing)...okay....uh huh....(whisper) bye-bye.......huuuhhhhh"

I'm not kidding.

Now I rush to avoid it.

Her, all normal: "Thanks, I'm really looking forward to working with you on this."

Me: "Likewise!We'll be in touch.Shit,Isaidtouch!BYE!"

(Thinking after I hang up with her): Did I charge her....or did she just charge ME?

Speaking of weird voice things, I've noticed I have this weird inability to pronounce any word ending with "ing" normally. I always say it "eeeeng". Sometheeeeng. Sleepeeeeeeeing. Theeeeeengs.

Since I've discovered this, I now make an effort not to do this. Which makes me sound completely weird because my voice will get all deep and methodical for just that word. "THING!" "SLEEPING!"

I'm dumb.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have some grapes for lunch and cut my toenails later.