Monday, May 02, 2005

A lot.


On Friday I was running a whole bunch of errands in a very disorganized fashion. Normally I save up many errands to be one big trip, but that day I was so frazzled I ended up having to come back to home office TWICE to pick up things I had forgotten.

I needed to visit the ATMs of both my personal bank and my business bank. Inconvenient, yes, but I don't like having all my eggs in one basket, if you know what I mean.

I rolled up to the personal bank ATM, put in my card all fast, and was PISSED when the menu screen came up and there wasn't an option for 'deposit'. What the hell? Asked for card back, did it again. No deposit option. CHRIST! I huffily yanked my card back out, and marched into the branch, where there was a line the size of The Nerds waiting for Star Wars to open.

I immediately turned into one of Those Women. The one who can't stand in line for longer than ten seconds. I made those annoying sighs, I rolled my eyes, and I gave the construction worker with no shirt on (and no business being shirtless) the stank eye just for being two people ahead of me). I wouldn't even crack a smile at the baby in front of me because SHE WAS IN FRONT OF ME.

I finally made it to the tellar and That Woman came out and said all snotty, "Yeah, there's something wrong with your ATM machine. It's not giving the 'deposit' option. I slammed down my card on the counter and looked at her like, "WELL?".

She just stared back at me. "Really?"

Impatiently I responded, "YES REALLY."

"And you...used this card?" holds it up.

GAH! "YES!" In my head I'm thinking, "Duh, hello, welcome to Teller 101, that is an ATM card..."

"...because this isn't our bank."


As I'm ripping open my sealed ATM deposit envelope to just do the damn deposit right there after getting the smackdown, I notice that she's really really pale and she lets out this little shaky sigh.

I'm apologizing for being an ass, and she cuts me off by saying she's not feeling well - her lunch isn't agreeing with her.

Before I can even sympathize, her head quickly disappears under the counter and I hear...the heave. She was throwing up. Right there!

An old lady being helped at the next window screamed.

Everyone looked at me like WHAT DID YOU DO?

"I...brought in...the wrong...ATM CARD...sorry...?"


Queen Bee T the Bride has sent me a million pieces of correspondence, regarding her wedding in Hawaii this month. I am dumb. Instead of booking my ass in the hotel where the wedding party is staying? I am staying at the ULTRA SWANK place where the WEDDING is taking place! And I didn't discover this until yesterday. Not even her FAMILY is staying at the swanky place. They are teasing me like crazy. "Oh, are you too good to stay at the regular hotel?" "You can't be bothered with having to drive to the wedding?" I was wondering why the bill was outrageous. GO ME!


I spent a good THREE HOURS Friday morning cleaning out drawers and cupboards and the like and packing up 2 huge boxes of stuff that my friend was going to sell at her garage sale over the weekend. I had no idea what to mark my shit up for, so I just gave her a list of the stuff with 'idea' prices and told her to just sticker it anyway she wanted, and to feel free to give in to hagglers, because I just wanted that shit GONE. Here's a funny conversation she had with some old lady:

Old Lady hands Friend a dime: I'll take this here purse.

Friend: Um, it's not ten cents, it's ten dollars.


Friend points out label: See, ma'am, it's a Coach bag.

Old Lady: I don't care if it's GLORIA VANDERBILT (ha!!!), it ain't TEN DOLLARS!

Friend: But it's small? And I don't think it's ever been used?


When Friend wouldn't give it to her for a dime, she said some cuss words in Spanish. Now Friend is terrified that her ears or something are going to fall off.

I love the crazy old ladies.

Also, Friend returned with both boxes FULL and I only made $10. Apparently, my shit DOES stink.


I bowled two games last night. My highest score? 56! Haaaaa! I love beer.


Vacation is coming, not soon enough. Because I don't get fancy paid vacations as a business owner, and work comes to a HALT when I'm gone, I'm scrambling like a madwoman to do a billion things before I bust on out of here. I wrote my to-do list of everything I need to do before I can leave, and immediately cried.

The upshot is, it will be SO WORTH IT!