Thursday, June 14, 2007

Angry heat.

Ah, summer. You are the least of my favorite seasons...for the sole purpose that you make me look a little less...with it.

Last night I attended a shin-dig that was in my honor, and it was seriously hotter than balls. Not only was it unforgivingly hot outside, but the venue of this thing was packed with sweaty bodies and it never cooled down, and I thought I was going to....die.

I'm not one of those ladies who looks awesome when it's hot outside. I tend to get a little more than a little sweaty, and while it looks like a nice "glow" on some ladies, for me it looks like someone needs to hose me down...and stat.

I'm sure I looked like all first-class as I stood on stage to do my ten-minute spiel, while holding my hair up on top of my head and silently praying for death. Someone took pity on me and ran up and handed me a pony-tail holder. Which, I then proceeded to pony-tail up my hair in front of 75 people. To be fair though, every single person in the audience was fanning themselves in a "my stars, it's WARM this evening" sorta way.

It's going to be a long summer.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Oh, Pink. You're so clever.

In an office building - California, USA:

Woman: (sitting at her desk, sorta bopping her head around to the music coming out of her computer) lala...take your drink, just give me the's just you and your HEAD tonight!

Me: (watching in amazement)

Woman: (closing her eyes, tilting her head back and singing all authoratively) ....(words, words, words)...take your drink, just give me the's just you and your HEAD tonight!

Me: Hmmm.

Woman: (notices me watching her) What?

Me: "You and your HEAD tonight"? Really?

Woman: Why, is that wrong?

Me: Yes. It's "you and your HAND tonight"

Woman: (mouths "you and your HAND tonight").

Me: See?

Woman: But? That just doesn't make sense. Why is it just him and his hand?

Me: (Oh my God)

(giving her some time to think about it)

Woman: I don't get it, really!

Me: I think what Pink is trying to say here is...see this guy is picking up on her...and she's saying to keep the drink, just give her the money...and that he's...just going to end up...alone...with his hand...?

Woman: Head I can understand - alone with his thoughts...

Me: (Oh my GOD!)

Woman But his HAND?

(giving her more time to think about it...wanting to stab myself with a letter opener)

Me: (can't take it anymore) TO WHACK IT!

Woman: Ohhhhh....?


Friday, June 08, 2007

Up to my eyeballs.

Starting this morning, I'm going to be a working fool for the next three days. I have so many projects that I just can't STAND being on my to-do list (some have sat there for months), and Mama just wants to get over them already and move forward.

Aside from a few errands and some blessed sleep, I won't be leaving my office for three days. Working it girl, all Melanie Griffith.

I'm a little nervous about the challenges in front of me, procrastination on a few things that I really don't want to do but need to has gotten the best of me. But I hope to turn off my computer Sunday night with the biggest sense of accomplishment I've had in a long time.

So riveting!

Okay, something semi-exciting: last night I made my first ever 911 call. And while I thought it would be terribly exciting, when I hung up I felt like I had just ordered a pizza. (Everything's okay, obviously)