Thursday, December 30, 2004


If the world would kindly please stop saying "Oh, you just got SERVED!" when someone gets slammed with an insult and/or put in their place...I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks, world.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

More than payola.

One of the absolute best parts of my job is making people happy. All the hard work of planning something truly special for either the host or the honoree is so worth it when I see the look of pure joy on their faces. Or laughing with their friends and family or coworkers. It's really an awesome feeling.

There's always a moment at any gig I work, in which you'll find me in the corner just observing the room. It's the moment when all of the ice has been broken, the gig is in full swing, and people are truly enjoying themselves. Laughing hard. Smiling and hugging, truly happy to be around each other. Sappy, yes. But I really enjoy taking that moment to watch that. I do it to keep my sanity, and to remind myself of why I choose to do this.

This type of job really forces you to connect with people. You have to really get to know who the person is, what they like and what they don't like, what makes up their personality...and then find a way to reflect it within the festivities themselves. It can be quite a challenge when people aren't very forthcoming with their personality, but it's even more rewarding when you do get it right.

Most times, along with the connections come friendships. It's a pretty intimate experience when you plan something that is very special to someone, and there's always a huge base of trust being built along the way. Not to mention all the warm fuzzy feelings. And sometimes the "talking them off the ledge", as you ensure them that everything's going to be fine.

You can't help but build friendships as you sit on their front steps with a bottle of beer after a successful party in which they admit to you things like "that was the first time I've seen my mother-in-law laugh since her husband died" and "who knew my Dad knew all the moves to the Macerena?". Those times always leave me with the "it's worth it" feeling.

These friendships always surprise me though, as they linger on even after their big night is over. They still keep in touch, still tell me what's going on.

I talk about this because during this crazy busy holiday season I spent two evenings with former-clients-turned-friends. One was with the sister of a too-young gentleman who passed away suddenly from a heart attack. One was with a lady who called me on Christmas Eve because she couldn't stand the thought of not spending it with her best friend of 18 years, who had been killed tragically in an automobile accident a month ago. Holiday ups, holiday heartbreak.

There's more I want to say to this, but I'm not thinking clearly right now. I have a meeting in an hour, and as always I'm rushing, rushing, rushing.

Monday, December 27, 2004

I'll have another.

I went to a holiday-themed bachelorette party recently in which these were served.

Try being a delicate little flower eating one of those.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Ulcers can be FUN.

I'm really going to sound doom and gloom here, since my theme of my last post was Stress City, USA as well.

I am seriously way overwhelmed here.

I just now put my head down on my desk. Like that was all I could do.

And then? I remembered that game we used to play in elementary school when it was too rainy to play outside at recess - "Heads Up 7-Up". Does anyone remember this game? You put your head down on your desk (buried in your arms, face down) and you stuck your thumb up. Seven classmates stood at the front of the classroom and then went around and chose someone, pinched their thumb, and then returned to the front. You had to guess who pinched your thumb. I remember it was always a big deal if some cute boy from your class did it. Like it was a SIGN or something. Anyway, thinking about that game kinda got me out of my funk. Briefly.

Conversation with Toni last night:

Toni: Hey, I got your Christmas card.
Me: Cool.
Toni: It was cute. Did you pick those out from your niece's school fundraiser you were telling me about last month?
Me: No, I didn't like their cards. I just gave a flat donation.
Toni: Why not the cards?
Me: They were too...Christian.
Toni: (laugh)
Me: (realizing how that sounds, and adding more) You know, all Jesus-fied. The Lord this, the Lord that!
Toni: Are you sad that you're going to hell?
Me: Not really.

And now I must go to a lunch featuring seven people I've never met. Fun!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

It's just MAGIC.

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year.

So magical when a baby throws up at you on your back and shoulder at Target. "I CAN'T SEE THE BABY VOMIT!"

All a glow when you play this delightful sport with your teenage nephews and get CREAMED and can barely walk for two days.

So festive when you throw away a $50 pin that's a gift for someone in the trash THE DAY THE CITY COMES TO PICK UP YOUR TRASH.

Cheery as all get-out when you catch the tail-end of a holiday party because you sat at home waiting for your friend to call you to tell you when she was leaving to meet you there, but you didn't hear her call for the TWO SECONDS you were in the bathroom and therefore you miss all the good holiday cheese.

Dreamy when a caterer doesn't show up to an event you've planned even though you just talked to them TWO FREAKING HOURS AGO.

Merry as you take your friends to a Japanese restaurant that you've RAVED and RAVED about non-stop for weeks, only to have the waiter completey screw up everyone's orders and the tempura is SOGGY, DAMMIT!

And there's still 10 days left!

Thursday, December 09, 2004


Hey! How are ya? Yeah so, I'm not gonna write anything in this here space for a while.

Keep it real and ENJOY the HOLIDAYS, would ya?

Peace out and kisses too.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

For Quiz Results Dictate My Life

Last week Kinkade made a funny little Quiz.

I went ahead and made one that same day, too. Hope it doesn't sound too mean, I was in a very feisty mood that day. Kisses!

Take it anyway, would ya?

What Kind of Nutjob Are You?

Take Kinkade's while you're at it. You're dying to know what kind of light bulb you are - I can FEEL IT FROM HERE!

Monday, December 06, 2004

"But can you get jiggy in it?"

This weekend I went wedding dress/bridesmaid dress shopping with Toni, who as I mentioned before, is getting married next Spring. In HAWAII. At the most gorgeous place in all of the most gorgeous places in all of Hawaii.

Fortunately, the woman was organized. She had already been on one round of "selections" with her mother a few weeks before, so this time I was just coming to look at the "finalists". I was to meet her at the bridal shop, but what she didn't tell me was that it was in CHINA. Okay, not China, but far far away. And I had to drive all by my lonesome because I was coming from a previous engagement. And I got lost and wanted to cry and called her from my cell to say, "I know I'm very late. I got lost here in China. I'll just wear a barrel. And leg warmers, because they're BACK, BITCH!"

So when I got there, Toni was already standing on that huge step thing circled by mirrors and she looked soooo gorgeous in the dress that was the main contender, and all I could say was, "Well, shit!". Which foo-foo bridal salon lady - er, consultant! - turned her nose up at. Yet Toni laughed. Seriously though, she's gonna be one hot mama.

Then it was time for me to try on my dress (oh and I'm maid of honor, so I get my OWN STYLE, different from the other maids, OH YEAH), and even though I told the lady my size, she took measurements anyway and was all yelling them out to someone else who was writing them down, and I was looking across the way at another bride who was being fitted going, "Now you know me REALLY WELL, don't ya? Need a kidney or anything?"

Of course the dress she picked for me was gorgeous, the woman does have some good taste. At first I didn't want to stand on the step thingy, because I viewed the step as HOLY and for BRIDES ONLY, but the foo-foo lady made me. And once we checked it fit the way it was supposed to in all the right places, Toni made me check to make sure I could still bust-a-move in it, Missy E. style, and we all breathed a sigh of relief when I could. Even foo-foo lady.

See, this time two years ago, Toni and I participated in an annual lip-sync contest/party. We did Missy E.'s "Work It", TOTALLY choreographed and everything, and we WON the contest. We beat out many, many people, including the Barry Manilow dude who had the crowd CRYING he was so funny. But, get this. It was definitely a MATURE performance. The outfits? Skanky-ish. The song lyrics? Rated R. And SHE WANTS US TO DO IT AT HER RECEPTION! For all that is Holy! I told her MAYBE I'd do it if it's the 'radio safe'/FCC approved version. And we take out about 85% of our moves. And the minister has already left. And her parents avert their eyes. And I've had 32 pina coladas.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Little Kid Hollywood.

Late yesterday afternoon I scooted out for a bit to catch a kid's play. This kid is one of the little guys that I visit once a month at the boys home I volunteer for.

The play was cute, and afterward I waited around for him, to let him know I was there. Some of the other kids from the boys home were there too, so I was making chit chat with them when from across the room I heard little mister Hollywood yell, "Thanks for coming, NEW JAN BRADY!". He was standing on a chair, pointing at me. One of the boys home counselors said, "He's too embarrassed to come thank you in person. I told him he had to thank you in some way." I laughed, until two seconds later when the counselor told me that NONE of his family (that he's allowed to see under supervision) came to see his play. I smiled again back at mister Hollywood, gave him a thumbs-up and walked back out to my car, crying the whole way like a damn fool. Like Ben Stiller at the end of Something About Mary. You know what I'm talking about.