Friday, October 29, 2004


I'm kind of dorking around today. This weekend is going to be nuts, so I'm taking it slow.

I've been listening to Missy Elliott this morning. It's kinda fun to be singing, "Pussy don't fail me now!" all super loud and then pausing it to answer a client's call. "Hello, Ms. Professional here, thank you!"

I'm doing THREE Halloween events, kids. One tonight (100+ attending), one tomorrow afternoon (for KIDS), and one tomorrow night. Which means yours truly is missing out on some parties thrown by friends. Cry for me.

That brings me to Halloween FUN SIZE candy. Is it too much to ask that it don't CRUMBLE all over the fucking place with one bite? I swear I look like I'm all retarded over here. My friend Stacey came by to drop something off this morning and said, "You've got...uh...Butterfinger center?...on your boob."

That girl knows her candy.

Have a fun Halloween weekend. Don't t.p. my house while I'm out Saturday. My brother's a COP. YOUR ASS WILL BE GRASS.

Carve your own pumpkin.

Thursday, October 28, 2004


Today I was reading a post at Marcia's (MARCIA!??!) site Mixed Messages, called "On the Q.T.". In this post she talks about how people (in the post she uses the doctor's office, library and pharmacy employees as examples) tend to blurt out just about anything even remotely private about you for others to hear. These people? Drive me nuts.

It reminded me of an embarrassing story. One Christmas I had an ear infection, in which one of my ears was completely plugged. Which looking back now, may have been a blessing on that day. "Are you talking to me, Mom? Sorry, can't hear you!"

The day after Christmas I went to the doctor, who wrote a prescription for antibiotics. I took the prescription to the hospital's pharmacy, which was packed, due to the holiday. I waited and waited for mine to be filled, and my name to be called.

When it finally happened, the lady ringing me up asked me if I had ever taken this specific antibiotic before. No, I hadn't. She asked if I'd like to have the pharmacist review it with me, to let me know of any side effects, etc. I thought this sounded like a good idea, so I said sure.

Out comes the pharmacist, who acts like I just asked him to come out and explain to me why the sky is blue.

Him: (yelling) Youshoidfsdhfkhfskuofu FOR????!

Me: Pardon?

Him: (very thick asian accent) YOU EVAH USE THIS BEFORE!

Me: Um, no...

Him: (grabs bottle out of bag, holds it up to examine it). Houshgoishdiwhighe!!!!!

Me: I'm sorry?


(Lobby sounds come to a screeching halt. Cricket. Cricket.)

Me: Uh, I, uh, actually have an EAR infection?

Him: (slams bottle back in bag and practically throws it at me) OH YEAH, CLEAR THAT UP TOO!


I also can't stand people who talk loudly just for the benefit of others. Perfect example, last night at Costco. There was a dude in the check-out line next to mine YELLING to the poor check-out guy about how much he hates when Costco moves all their things around and how he can never find anything. He's looking around at all the other customers, as if he's standing up for each and everyone of us, and aren't we super grateful. Then he goes on and on about how he's THIS CLOSE to canceling his membership and heading over to Sam's Club.

When my brother and I were leaving? We saw the dude sitting at the outdoor food court enjoying a hot dog and a soda. Yeah dude, you HATE Costco. Thanks for taking one for the team.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Foggy head.

I'm feeling quite sluggish today. Don't know why, really. Could be because I was out for a good chunk of yesterday, and when I came home I took the longest nap known to man. Which then meant I couldn't sleep last night. Which then meant I overslept this morning. And then I was gone almost all day today. And then I tried to take a nap, but my stupid body wouldn't let me. I think it's protesting and requiring that I sleep during NORMAL HOURS, please.

My desk is a pile of must-get-tos. But I don't wanna! I may go shopping at Costco instead. I need some real food in this house. I made a pork loin roast on Saturday that was as big as my couch...and have since been eating pork like it ain't nobody's business and I'm so sick of it. Plus I want to buy flannel sheets for my cold, COLD bed. And 10,000 peanut butter pumpkins, thanks to Liz.

I'm taking my car in tomorrow. Thanks for the advice. Don't worry, I've only driven it like 8 miles in the last two days. Hee, 8 miles. Lose yourself!

In the meeting with the big wigs yesterday? The one that may make my business yoo-ger and also make my wallet phat? I think a woman tooted. I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure. She was sitting between me and someone else, and as I was talking she BOLTED up out of her chair and said, "Hold that thought! I have to (brraaap brippp brrriip) excuse myself for a second." Excuse yourself, indeed.

I'm thinking that since I a) didn't turn up my nose; b) stare in horror; c) scream "MY GOD!"; or sing "beans beans, the magical fruit"....I may just get this gig.

Toni cracked me up last night. She was calling me from her car, and she was in an area in which she frequently loses we counted down the seconds before I was to be hung up on...but we actually stayed connected. In delight she sang, "LOVE! Love will keep us together!..."

I don't know why? But I thought that was pretty damn funny.

Costco! Bottles of wine as big as my HOUSE!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

When the light comes on.

Today is one of those frazzly crazy busy but I don't want to do shit days.

First off, I was supposed to take my car in to be looked at, but I overslept. The 'check engine' light is on. So what did I do? I opened the hood, checked the engine, and shut it. What the hell does that mean? What the hell am I supposed to be checking? Engine still in car? Check! I kid, I did check the oil and water, which were both fine. But then it's Doy City for me after that.

I have a big meeting with a networking group I may be joining today. Other than my community service volunteering I do, I don't really have any networking groups to draw from, so I'm going to see what they're all about. I'm just praying they're not all blood sucking up in our grill about their business 24/7. We shall see.

After that I have a meeting with a potential client, from said group. If I get this gig, it will be HUGE. I will be planning events for several different businesses at once. That's what you call home free.

Once I survive that, if my engine hasn't fallen out of my rig, I'll be taking it to the dealer and then renting a car. IF it's something they can't fix all lickety-split.

Hopefully I'll get some actual work done today, as well. Dare to dream.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Family makes you OLD.

Last night I had dinner at my Mom's, with almost my whole family in attendance. It was a night of fumbliness for me. I managed to break a wine glass, drop an entire enchilada in my nephew's lap, and say the 'f' word in my Mom's presence.

My nephews are killing me. They're teenagers now. I always hated when I was growing up and I'd see my Aunts and Uncles and they'd always make comments such as, "I remember when you crapped your diaper during your cousin's wedding and I had to change it and it stunk to high heaven! And NOW LOOK AT YOU!" Gee, thanks. But you know what? It's hard not to do similar things to my nephews. I mean, how did the time go by so fast? One day I'm burping them as babies, and the next I'm asking them kindly to stop burping "Hi Auntie" into my ear. And thinking that they need a shave. Good God.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

People's Exhibit A

I give you one of the reasons I'm having the best Sunday ever.

1. Rock'n Me - Steve Miller Band: I saw the Steve Miller Band in concert in 1990. I don't remember much other than a party afterward in which I was drunk out of my mind and asked some dude if I could wear his red handkerchief around my head. Which I did. Lame.

2. Takin' it to the Streets - Doobie Brothers: Remember when it was funny just to say Doobie? And remember when Rerun got in trouble for taking in a tape recorder to a Doobie Brothers concert? Learn from Rerun.

3. Fooled Around and Fell in Love - Elvin Bishop: Poor Elvin never really went anywhere after this cheesy love song. Wonder if he's pissed.

4. Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates: I have a No Daryl Hall & John Oates rule in my house, so this one gets skipped. Unless I forget.

5. Say You Love Me - Fleetwood Mac: I love you, Fleetwood Mac!

6. Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry: I used to frequent a club here when I was 21 or so that used to play this song and it would bring the house down. Seriously. It brought people together. So this song makes me think of Rum and Cokes, and outdoor fire pits.

7. You Should Be Dancing - The Bee Gees: Well, you should be. The Gibbs know what they're talking about.

8. Show Me the Way - Peter Frampton: The sound of the talking guitar. Was it a guitar?

9. Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee: I think Elton DID break Kiki's heart. Real bad.

10. Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright) - Rod Stewart: Oh, Rod.

11. Love to Love You Baby - Donna Summer: Naughty song! When I was 12, my friend Niki and I used to sneak in her grandmother's bedroom and listen to this song. And giggle. And wonder why she was making those naughty sounds. I still blush when it's on.

12. Still the One - Orleans: Pure classic.

13. Hello Old Friend - Eric Clapton: Clapton goodness.

14. Get Closer - Seals and Crofts: Nice.

15. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon: I remember this song playing a lot on the radio on my school bus in second grade. I always liked the line: "hop on the bus, Gus"...because I WAS on the bus! I was disappointed he couldn't work in my name.

16. That'll Be The Day - Linda Ronstadt: Go, girl.

17. Welcome Back - John Sebastian: Oh Mr. Kott-ah!

18. Dream Weaver - Gary Wright: Deep shit. HA!

19. All By Myself - Eric Carmen: And then the party's over. How does this song steal any happiness you may be having and make you want to throw yourself in front of a bus? Immediately.

20. The Rubberband Man - The Spinners: ...and then you no longer want to throw yourself in front of a bus. Whew.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Laziness is the new clean.

I've had a lot of coffee this morning, so I'm going to just talk for a while. Some people like to hear themselves talk? I like the clickety-clackety sound of typing on my laptop. Did I mention I've had a lot of coffee?

First off, guess what. I created a page just for Daily Brady Pics. Simply click on the link underneath today's picture in the sidebar and be transported to Daily Brady Pics of yesteryear. Or yesterDAY, because I can't go that far back to remember what I had already done. Some of them won't make sense unless you've read a particular entry, because I do try to correlate them sometimes.

Second of all, I'm very angry at the whole television world. I can be addicted to The Apprentice. And The Daily Show. And "24" when it's lazy ass shows up again. But I simply cannot add another show. That would be ridiculous. Except that someone in my house other than me has been recording and forcing me to watch "Lost". And it's a damn good show. DAMN good. I kept rubbing my eyes and checking the corner of the screen to make sure it still read ABC. That's shocking, I think. I'm really loving the back stories of the stranded passengers, the emotions, the hotness that once was Charlie from Party of Five. He was hot then, and he has not let us down since. Man. And when he cries? I'm bawling right there with him. He has that damn Tom Hanks thing where I HAVE to cry the second he even SLIGHTLY contorts his face into cry mode. What is that? It's powerful, my friend.

Thirdly, I have a very big dilemma. It involves my cleaning lady. She has been cleaning my house for six and a half years. And she sucks.

She started out as the most perfect cleaning lady the world ever did see. I guess as she became familiar with the house, she became a little...lax. Which is understandable. But then she became just a little too lax, to the point where I'd end up just cleaning after her. Example? Dusting. She would just take a dry cloth and run it over surface areas, never picking up items let alone dusting the items on the surface. I'd mention it to her, she'd do it the right way the next couple of times, and then it was back to sub-par. This is just ONE example. Sometimes I'd just clean after her and grumble about it to myself. Which is ridiculous in my mind, since I just handed her a damn check.

She also gets paid rather well, and if you worked out the flat fee I pay her based on the amount of time she's actually here cleaning my house, you'd be over in two seconds for the job yourself. It's embarrassing, actually.

As I mentioned, we've had talks about it, it doesn't go anywhere. She's in and out, and while I do appreciate that she saves me time on some things (vacuuming seems to be her specialty), I get very irritated with the fact that I purposely hired someone to clean my home so that I can focus on my work and other things, but in all reality I'm paying her to start cleaning my house, and I come behind her and do it the right way.

The other problem is the friendship issue. We are far from being bosom buddies, yet there has been a very strong foundation of trust laid down. She knows my habits, she's seen my privates (not those privates), etc. It's comfortable. I can not be home when she's here cleaning and never have to worry about a thing.

She and I are relatively chatty with one another, which is normal when you see each other once a week. She's a little more open with me than I am with her (one day upon entering my house she announced - quite proudly I must add -, "Well, my son got laid for the first time last night!", but we've shared a lot of personal information over six and a half years.

My dog? LOVES HER. And my dog don't love nobody. I'm not even sure he loves me. So another bonus is that the house can be vacated for days at a time and she will come take care of him and I never have to worry about her being maimed or dead. That's kind of nice.

I mulled this problem over with a business associate of mine, and she came up with this idea: make a specific checklist of all of the things I'd like for her to do. And then, let her know that I am only paying her an hourly rate as opposed to a flat fee, so she's only getting paid for the time she's actually spending cleaning. So, in essence, she needs to do the things on the list if she wants to get paid well.

Here's where I turn chicken shit. I feel like she's going to think I've turned into some sort of anal neat freak all of a sudden. Or that I'm suddenly on a power trip. Why I worry about these things, I don't know. It's not personal, it's business. Yet, I still worry that I'm going to upset her. Or have her go, "Okay Princess" and then slash my new leather living room furniture with a butcher knife. Or, tell the dog he has every right to hate me because I'm a horrible mother.

And even MORE chicken shit-ish, is that I had my chance to tell her this THIS morning, and I didn't do it. Even though I had a two page checklist all typed up and sitting on my desk. It's hard to say, "we need to have a talk about your shortcomings" when she charges in bubbly as can be because she just returned from the vacation of a lifetime.

I know that if she truly IS my friend, and if she really DOES care about this job, she would be open to my candor. I know this. I just don't want to have to do it.

And people wonder why I no longer have assistants in my business anymore.

I'm sure this sounds like a stupid dilemma, and I'm sure that it is, but it's one of the many things on a very long list of frustrations that I'm currently dealing with.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

For the people, by the people

Well, jury duty was an interesting experience. I just wish I had time to share it. I will say, however, that the courthouse is a people-watching lover's HAVEN. I've never seen/met/talked to so many interesting people in my LIFE.

The trial was short and sweet. Well, not sweet, but sweet as in I am glad it's over. It's a weird thing to drive away from a 3-day situation in which you worked with 11 other strangers to determine the fate of someone else - another stranger.

If I get all caught up like a good girl today, tomorrow I'll share some of the gems I met this week.

An early morning e-mail exchange with a friend who's cocktail party I am dropping in on this evening:

HER: "If you're not still SEQUESTERED, come out and have a drink, or nine."

ME: "We're done, actually. But, we were only SEQUESTERED (why caps?) during the day. Then turned loose to pursue our alcoholism."

HER: "I just like the word SEQUESTERED. In fact all day yesterday, I was saying 'I have a friend who is currently being sequestered!'. God I love that word. I want to be sequestered. In fact, when you come to my party tonight, could you please tell everyone 'I'm so glad I was able to come - I was worried I wouldn't be able to - what with having been SEQUESTERED all week!'? Thanks!"

ME: "Someone started her cocktail party at 6:30 a.m., I see."

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Civic duty.

What does someone who already is up to her eyeballs in work and commitments need?

Jury duty, of course!

And I got PICKED. Those who know me personally, know this is quite the shocker. Quite!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Rainy Sunday

It's raining! And I couldn't be happier about it!

The rain means it will wash away the nasty stuff that's been causing my allergies to be a total a-hole.

There's something really nice about waking up from a (finally!) long, peaceful night of sleep to the sound of the rain, the dimness of the house, lighting candles, brewing coffee and knowing you don't have to be anywhere that day. I may even bake...or cook! Slippers are fun, too!

I made a little list of things I'd like to get done today. Nothing stressful, just loose ends to tie up.

And that's my Sunday. I can't wait.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

What would Fonzie do?

When you own your own business, you think about it 24/7. Well, at least if you care about it.

I think I took it a little too far last night when at 1:30 a.m. I flipped on the television while getting ready for bed, landed on Happy Days, and was DISTRAUGHT over Howard Cunningham's hardware store being in danger of closing because a new fancy mall came along.

I mean, I was really upset. And I started trying to think of things he could do to better the situation. Even Fonzie (who tried hard, nevertheless) couldn't save him.

And what's worse? (Can there be a worse at this point?) Even though I could barely keep my eyes open, I had to watch the whole damn episode to make sure he was going to be okay.

Fortunately, he came up with the brilliant idea of moving his store to a new location, where there were no other hardware stores within five miles. WHEW!

Also, I blame Martha. For she is the one who suggested watching Happy Days to lull you into a nice warm blanket of security.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Get it together.

Yesterday I met up with a friend I do breakfast with once a month. First thing out of her mouth was, "Man, you look great. How do you always seem so put together?"

This? Made me laugh. For about ten minutes.

I'll show you why. Here was my putting-together process yesterday for my breakfast date.

I give my secrets, because I love.

1. Wake up to alarm and give it the finger, hit snooze.

2. Wake up nine minutes later, and immediately ask, "Do I HAVE to get up?", mentally check calendar, realize you have the morning in the office, therefore you can cheat and sleep a bit longer. Hit snooze.

3. Wake up nine minutes later, realize you're hungry, hit snooze, close eyes....then BOLT RIGHT UP because you remember you're having breakfast with a friend.

4. Nine more minutes never killed nobody, lay back down.

5. Get out of bed when alarm goes off again. Slowly make way to kitchen, pour cup of coffee, stare out window and wonder why the Lord invented the whole wake-up process, for it stinks to high heaven.

6. Say hi to dog from window, spill coffee down front of nightie.

7. Toss nightie into laundry, head for shower.

8. Realize you don't got a lot of time for the foof, so just take the short-version shower and remove any traces of stench.

9. Find clean clothes. No, really. Surely you have some somewhere. Oh, nothing hanging in the closet? Did you check the closet floor? No, not that pile. That pile is questionable. The pile over there where it looks like you started to fold things. Nice.

10. Slap on jeans and Vandelay Industries t-shirt.

11. Pile unwashed hair on top of head, do something to make it stay up there.

12. Reward yourself with another sip of coffee. Go ahead and dribble it down the front of your shirt, what, do you need a fucking sippy cup?

13. Find a new shirt, oh red is good.

14. Let's do some make-up today, okay? It's obvious you had four and a half hours of sleep last night. You're not exactly looking spry.

15. Nearly put an eye out with the eyeliner. Think for a second that a black eye patch with a glittery gold cursive "L" on it ala Laverne style might actually be kinda cute.

16. Drop mascara brush onto your foot. Scrub foot.

17. Look at clock and realize you've got to hoof it already.

18. Brush teeth, dribble toothpaste onto gorgeous red shirt (THIRD TIME IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS).

19. Head back to closet for third shirt, pick the closest one. Ram elbow into closet doorknob. Yell obscenities.

20. Look back in mirror, realize hair is lopsided. Fix.

21. Put on lipstick, sneeze at same time unexpectedly, remove lipstick from tip of nose.

22. Wonder how you made it to 35.

23. Give up on yourself, head for bag and keys.

24. Where the fuck are my keys. Laugh that your friend got you this cute little red dish for the table in your entry way because you were always losing your keys. What a thoughtful gift.

25. Find keys UNDER THE DINING ROOM TABLE. What the fuck?

26. Want more coffee, decide I'm not competent enough to be allowed even one more sip. Wonder if they have bibs at the restaurant.

27. Get in car, answer cell phone, laugh at something caller says while glancing in rear view mirror, realize I only did one eye with eyeliner. The patch is sounding handier by the moment.

28. Run back in, do other eye.

29. Drive to restaurant, amongst insane traffic, which I imagine is good for adding color to your face. Grrrr.

And that my friends, is a true story. I'm so put together I can't STAND myself.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


This afternoon I stopped off at Linens 'n Things, and outside by the entrance was a lady seated on the ground who I just knew was going to ask me for money.

"Hey you got change or a dollar so I can get some food?"

I gave her four quarters. She said "alright" and tossed them into her paper cup.

On my way out (about twenty minutes later), she looked at me again and said, "Hey you got change or a dollar so I can get some food?"

I smiled and said, "I already gave you some, hon."

"Oh THAT'S RIGHT!" she laughed.

And this is what I heard her YELLING as I walked to my car:

"Damn, my life is nothing but RE-RUNS! Over and over again, same thing same thing SAME THING. I need to change the fucking station already! What the hell? She GAVE ME SOME CHANGE!"

Oh man. I should have just given her some more quarters.

In other news, I'm sipping a delightful glass of pinot noir. Welcome, red wines! For I am a dainty flower who doesn't usually let anything other than chardonnay pass her delicate lips from April - October. It's not even mid-October, and I'm totally breaking my own rules (it was 90 today....NINETY), but I have to say I'm enjoying it. Hi, red wines, HI!

Also? I had an unusual WORK experience this evening. I had a meeting with this dude who called me up out of the blue and was EXCITED to do an event with me - couldn't wait to meet up with me, had seen my conference I did in July, could he book me NOW NOW NOW?!

So, we signed all the proper papers via fax, scheduled first planning meeting for today, made confirmation call over weekend for today's appointment....and when I showed up....

....he acted like I had asked him to please take a crap in my presence. He couldn't even REMOTELY show enthusiasm.

I wanted to go outside so badly and check the address again. Surely, this couldn't be the same dude.

He SAID all the right things, but with not one iota of I was FORCING him to have an event, and he was BEGRUDGINGLY going to cooperate.

He did write a big fat check though.

I just don't get it. That's never happened to me before.

Oh well, it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

Monday, October 11, 2004


I should feel fabulous today. I SHOULD! For yesterday I took the entire day off and didn't do a damn thing other than sleep and watch horrible Ben Stiller films. Yes, plural. And eat. Oh yes, there was food.

I slept more than I was awake. I should be a spring chicken at this point, ready to take on the world.

Yet, I don't feel so good. I've been procrastinating all morning. I'm feeling a little allergy ridden, and I don't want to take the damn medicine because I don't want to be groggier than I already am. And also, my day started with the exterminator showing up, and I made the mistake of immediately going out to water my plants (procrastination - anything is better than sitting at my desk working!), and I think I inhaled too much of the bug spray stuff because I feel a little icky and I have a weird taste in my mouth. Brilliant, I am.

I have so much to do this week. SO MUCH! I know I always say that, but I mean it this time! I DO! It's more than one person can do. I like the challenge, though. When I feel NORMAL.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Parental Chaperone

Last night I went to see this musical with my mother. I had obviously heard of it before, but didn't really know what it was all about. It was very, very good. The music, the dancing, the colors, everything. It was even funny. Who knew?

What is it about being around your mother that makes you think that you will always be considered a child, even at 35 with a responsible life and successful business? Perhaps these comments from my mother?

"Honey, you're probably going to need a sweater."
"Mom, it's 79 degrees out right now."

One guy seated in front of me, was a bit on the tall side, but not blocking my view by any means.
(Not said quietly, by the way) "Can you see okay, Honey? I can ask that guy to scooch down a little." (Sorry if you heard that, guy, I was embarrassed too.)

When I suggested we stop and get some dessert on the way back to the car:
"But did you eat dinner before the show?"
"No, I didn't have time. Desserty food is fine, though."
"I don't know about that."

The whole time we were at dessert she was nervously checking her watch.
"You really should be home and in bed. It's AFTER 11:00!"

Walking back to the car.
"I wish we had parked closer. You don't just walk around downtown this late, do you?"
"No, usually I wait until 2:00 a.m. to walk around."

She's lucky she's cute.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

"You're fired." Blinga blinga BLINK!

This is pretty funny. Thanks to Liz for the link. Also, while you're at Liz's, scroll down to her Friday, October 1st entry. She waxes a good Mr. Trump.


I just made a real live baby frog sit on one of my fake lilypads in my fountain in the front yard. He sat there for a second like, "Are you happy?" and then jumped out.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Call me!

I've been in meetings since 9:00 a.m. I just returned to my office, to see about 13,000 e-mails from two people who are working on an event with me. Instead of addressing them all, I suggested we have a three way call later to discuss everything.

My one sentence e-mail? Asked: Do either of you know how to initiate a 3-way?


Answer #2: I don't kiss and tell.

Monday, October 04, 2004

You won't like me after this one.

I'm in a weird mood right now. Read: bitchy. Double-read: HIGH MAINTENANCE.

I'm having a glass of wine, and good GOD do I need it.

See, I'm working on an event that is bigger than Mr. Trump right now (way past my bedtime even!), and I've got a bunch of wonder-loos backing me up. I'm seriously about to cry over here. GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE. And we're e-mailing in one vicious circle right now, and one of them doesn't know how to do AN ATTACHMENT and I think I'm going to quit and just drive one of those trucks that follows trailers hauling mobile homes with the signs "Wide load". Because that would be easier, yes? YES!

Here's some randomness while I wait for Twinkie to finish reading "Sending Attachments for Dummies".

My Mom sent me an e-mail tonight. Nothing new, although after having AOL for about five years, I think she just realized she could create her own "stationery", and she just sent me a note with a TEAL background, and PINK seriously demented Gangstah print. You know what I'm talking about - the Old(e) Fashioned Calligraphy stuff. Which I couldn't read. Either she was requesting a kidney, or she was passing on a recipe - EITHER/OR.

I got a thank you note in the mail today from my niece who just stayed with me. It was written in her mother's handwriting, so obviously she dictated it. I quote:

Auntie Laur (which she pronounces Lorrrrrrrr)
Thank you for the nice time. I liked working in your office. The stickers were fun. I liked the cereal, and the good night story. I'm sorry about the poop. Say hi to Dylan (my dog) for me. See you soon!

Yes, one story I didn't relay about her stay, was the discovery of the tiniest poop I've ever seen about four inches away from the toilet. I'll spare you the details.

I think her note would have been nicer in pink gangstah print and teal paper. I'm JUST SAYING.

Okay, we got the problem solved, so I've got to do a little more work before I can turn in.

I'm sorry about the poop, you guys.

Saturday, October 02, 2004


I'm feeling a bit better this morning. At least I think so, I'm not sure. I'm able to sit up, and walk, and keep my eyes open for extended periods of time, so that's good. Mostly because I have approximately 89 things to do today.

I think it just may be allergies. Allergy medicine is helping, but making me a bit drowsy (pill bottles that say 'non drowsy' are all blatant liars).

I got some solid sack time last night and woke up at 7 a.m. like, "Oh. I'm awake. I think I'll get up."


I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

Friday, October 01, 2004


I'm starting to feel a little crummy. Like I might be getting sick. My body aches (mostly in my back, neck, shoulders). Maybe I slept funky, maybe it's stress catching up with me. It ain't fun, either way.

Doesn't help that after my cleaning lady cleaned my house this morning, she announced she may be coming down with the flu. Hey, thanks!

Is it bad that while watching the debate last night, I would giggle everytime Bush did his little blinky thing? I always hear that little cartoon noise when his eyes flutter like, "bling bling blink!".

You know what I'm talking about.