Say hello to my little friend.

Last night I visited a friend who was babysitting two small children.

The three year old was very shy towards me at our introduction. Yet, as the evening progressed we went on to:

color - her often exclaiming with joy over anything I had colored, and of course I returned the favor

play catch - for like 800 hours

play with her doll, and the ohhhs and ahhhhs that came out of her when I braided her doll's hair were hilarious

eat a little dinner, make faces at the veggies and laugh until we decided - what the hell, no veggies tonight!

read "Good Night Moon" over and over and make a collaborative decision that it is by far the best book in THE WORLD.

Her mother returned to pick up her kids, and when the little girl saw her in the doorway, she bolted out of the cozy reading/fort we had created in the U part of the sectional couch and screamed MOMMA! so loud I think my teeth rattled. With her arms gripped tightly around her mother's neck, she squeezed, and then looked back at me.

Her mother saw that she was looking over at me and asked her daughter, "Did you have a good time with her?"

"NO! Hate her!"

Ice Cream

Driving around today, I got stuck behind a red Toyota that was driving at least 25 in a 45 mile zone. Frustrated, I waited until I could pass him on his left, and as I passed and went to shoot the "what the hell" look, I saw the driver hunched over his steering wheel devouring an ice cream cone, no making love to an ice cream cone. It was a strange sight to see. Yes, it was a crazy hot day, and ice cream is a great treat for such misery, but good God man, show some self control.

I got to a light, and soon enough Ice Cream Violator finally made his way next to me. When I turned to look again, he was lurched over his steering wheel with his palm flat on his forehead and his face in a painful twist. Ice cream headache.

Yes, I laughed.

Mr. Cher

This right here? Made me LAUGH. Some of you kids won't get it, but I'm laughing it up long time over here.

It's a tad warm, and I'm a tad mental.

It's hotter than shit where I am. Let's just say I'm not one of those girls who looks all "glowy" when I'm sweating. Not happy!

I'm busier than shit right now. So much going on. But happy!

There's this lady, she's a bit on the older side, and she's a receptionist where I do some business. She hates me for some reason. I'm genuinely perplexed. I really hardly ever have to interact with her, but when she sees me, her face gets all pinchy ala Renee Z., and she looks like it takes her every ounce of energy she can muster just to say hello to me.

I'm super nice! I brought her a plant when a family member passed away suddenly! Why does she hate me so?

Then yesterday I was included in one of those sappy "Girlfriends are the bosom of life" or some shit like that e-mails. And then I was all happy! Excited for like ten whole minutes! I'm her FRIEND.

Until she realizes she accidentally put me on the distribution list.

TOO LATE NOW, LADY! Our friendship is the SANCTINTY OF LIFE and I know this because I IMMEDIATELY FORWARDED IT TO TWENTY WOMEN and got back TWO RESPONSES so therefore our fate is SEALED.